Editor’s note: Across New Jersey, hospitals, clinics and treatment centers are providing care to thousands of active military personnel, veterans and first responders who are dealing with mental health issues. This is the next entry in a continuing series about heroes who sought help with their problems and are now actively helping others.
Bilal Abdullah finally reached the day when he could no longer tolerate the hypocrisy he was living.
For years he had counselled addicts and alcoholics while he himself had a severe drinking problem.
“I had started working with people who had addictions because I was going through the same thing myself,” he said. “It made me a great addict counsellor but a bad addict. I kept denying I had a problem while I worked with people who were dealing with the problems of their addictions”
It was on this day he made the commitment he had been urging others to make. It was a long journey.
Bilal Abdullah had his eye on the Air Force as a youngster, but the Chicago native decided to go to college before fulfilling his dream.
Born and raised in a Muslim household where alcohol was never present, Abdullah discovered it at college.
“The more I got with my peers in college the more I was exposed to alcohol and the more I loved it,” said Abdullah. “By nature, I am usually quiet, but with alcohol I found I was an extrovert.”
Admitting he “washed out of college,” Abdullah joined the U.S. Navy in 2000 at the age of 27.
“I thought I would see the world,” Abdullah recalled of his first days in the service. “But the first ship I was on ran aground.”
He chose a land position instead of living on a ship and wound up doing security duty with the navy. Later he secured a civilian job doing police work at Joint Base Langley-Eustis, first with the Air Force at Langley Air Force Base and then on the Army side at Fort Eustis.
One constant in Abdullah’s life was drinking.
“I never crossed the line and did anything like hard drugs,” he said, but acknowledged he was drinking more and more.
Abdullah set his sights on becoming a social worker. By the time his family moved to Cleveland in 2015, he had earned his master’s degree from Norfolk State and became an addiction counsellor at the Matt Talbot for Men addiction center in Parma, Ohio.
Through all these achievements, Abdullah was still drinking – heavily.
It got to the point where he could no longer hide his decline.
“I was drinking alcohol like it was water,” he said. “All the time I thought I had it under control. Generally, I was not dysfunctional, but neither was I functional. My supervisor began to think I was drinking. I asked myself why I thought I needed alcohol to keep me balanced at work and I came to the conclusion I did not need it.”
This was the day he decided he could no longer tolerate the hypocrisy of counselling addicts while living as one himself.
“Every day I felt like a hypocrite, so I knew I had to change. My marriage was on the rocks. I had a daughter, and I did not want to lose her or my marriage. In 2016 I made the commitment to stop.”
And he did – completely – and on his own.
He acknowledges the help of his family. “Mine is a very spiritual family,” Abdullah smiled. “We have many pastors in our family.”
Cleansed and back on his feet, Abdullah came to the Recovery Centers of America at Raritan Bay and interviewed for a position with the facility’s RESCU program. The RESCU Program (Resilience, Empowerment, Safety and Care for our Uniformed Heroes) is an addiction treatment program for active-military, veterans and first responders.
The program essentially immerses patients in a community of fellow military and first responders who have similar life and professional experiences. The program focuses on helping patients recover from substance abuse by addressing professional-related obstacles that could hamper their recovery. The program promises complete anonymity to patients.
“I interviewed with RESCU because of my military and police experience,” Abdullah said. “At first, I was not eligible for the position because I did not have the requisite license. I got the license (making him a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor) but by then, the position was not open.”
However, RCA found a position for Abdullah as an Alcohol Dependent Counsellor in March and today he is one of RCA’s primary therapists.
“You must commit to recovery,” Abdullah said. “Recovery requires a level of trust. You have to be vulnerable and be ready to admit your problem. Why did I commit? I did not want to lose my family and that was definitely a possibility because of my drinking. Now, when I see alcohol, I say ‘you don’t need this.’ I became confident in who I am. I learned to be comfortable with myself.”
Today, in addition to his work at RCA, Abdullah has his own practice centered in West Orange and he maintains a strong focus on helping people with mental health issues. He preaches a philosophy of self-care.
“Self-care is crucial,” he said. “Self-care means disconnecting from your job, your family, your friends. I disengage from the stresses of the world around me. You cannot be a parent 24 hours a day. Sometimes you have to disconnect from your parenting to practice self-care. Self-care needs to be implemented if a person struggling with mental health issues is to deal with them successfully.”
