Anna’s a college graduate, a mother of two children under five, and a military spouse ready to reenter the workforce. But despite her qualifications and motivation, she’s stuck.
Her barrier? Child care. Like many military families, hers is stationed far from extended family. Her active-duty spouse’s mission demands long, unpredictable hours.
And local child care centers either have year-long waitlists or costs that rival a second mortgage. Without reliable care, she can’t carve out time to job hunt, let alone interview or work. It’s not for lack of trying—it’s that the system is broken.
We ask a lot of military families. We ask them to relocate frequently, navigate long and frequent periods of separation, and adapt to ever-changing schedules.
But one thing we should never ask them to do is sacrifice their financial security and personal aspirations because they cannot find or afford child care.
And yet, that’s exactly what’s happening.
As a military spouse and through years of working with military families across the country, I’ve seen firsthand that child care isn’t just one issue among many – it’s the issue.
Without access to affordable, reliable, and quality child care, everything else starts to fall apart. Spouses can’t work. Families can’t save. And service members can’t focus, knowing their children aren’t being cared for.
This isn’t just anecdotal.
According to the 2024 Military Family Lifestyle Survey 68 percent of active-duty spouses need child care to work, but over one-third cannot find care that fits their employment needs.
Among those who are unemployed but want or need to work, 58 percent cite the high cost of child care as the reason — 47 percent say it’s simply unavailable or the wait-lists are too long.
This isn’t just a military issue.
Child care is a national crisis for all families. COVID-19 closures broke an already fragile system. Since then, costs have continued to rise, and childcare options have grown limited. But for military families, who relocate frequently and live on tight budgets, the crisis hits harder and lasts longer.
Blue Star Families is proud to help bring our families’ voices to the forefront through our MFLS and advocacy on the Hill and share their stories of financial challenges and hardship.
The Department of Defense has made strides for our military families.
The recent win in the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) ensures that military families who are unable to access military-operated child care are eligible to apply for fee assistance through the Military Child Care in Your Neighborhood (MCCYN) program.
There is also the military’s Child Development Centers (CDCs) and Family Child Care (FCC) homes, which provide lower-cost, high-quality care when you can get in.
But here is the problem: Only 20 percent of active-duty spouses who need child care regularly use CDCs, and just five percent use FCCs. Why? Long wait-lists, hard-to-navigate enrollment systems, and location challenges for families living off base.
Instead, 39 percent turn to babysitters, 31 percent lean on friends and family, and 31 percent pay out-of-pocket for private centers. Only 11 percent use fee assistance — likely because the process is cumbersome or their geographic proximity, as most military families no longer live on base.
That means most families are providing informal care or paying hundreds of dollars a month, averaging $758.26, which is comparable to their civilian peers.
But unlike civilians, military families face frequent relocation. Each Permanent Change of Station (PCS) means starting over: a new child care wait-list, a new job hunt, a new set of stressors.
We need action. The good news is, we already have tools on the table.
- Champion Greater Quality-of-Life Provisions in the 2026 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA)
Military families understand better than anyone that quality of life directly impacts mission readiness. The FY25 NDAA made significant strides in addressing childcare challenges, but the work is not yet complete.
This is why we endorsed Representative Chrissy Houlahan’s (D-PA) FY26 NDAA proposal to expand child care fee assistance to in-home providers.
We have also urged that, if the program is ever discontinued, families must receive at least one year’s notice to ensure they have time to plan and adjust.
- Raise the Cap on Dependent Care Flexible Spending Accounts
The $5,000 cap hasn’t budged in 35 years. Let’s double it to $10,500 to reflect today’s realities and give families more breathing room.
- Prioritize Employment Portability and Flexibility.
Encourage your employer to adopt our 4+1 Commitment: The Formula for Military Spouse Success – https://bluestarfam.org/4plus1/.
Through this pledge, companies have helped facilitate job transferability, offered remote work and flexible hours, and provided paid PCS leave for military spouses.
These policies help families stay afloat between moves and remove the all-or-nothing trade-off between caregiving and career.
- Get the Word Out
Resources exist, but military families may not be aware of all that’s available, and civilian families may not know how they can contribute to making a difference. For more ways to make a difference: doyourpart.com.
If we want our All-Volunteer Force to be ready, we need families that are safe and secure. To attract and retain top talent, we must offer comprehensive support. That means treating child care not as a perk or benefit, but as essential infrastructure for national security.
The solutions are within reach. Let’s meet this moment, because our military families can’t afford to wait.
About the author:
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Kathy Roth-Douquet is the co-founder and CEO of Blue Star Families, where she serves as a national spokesperson for military-connected families. She champions solutions to pressing challenges, including access to mental health care, high unemployment rates, and inadequate childcare. As a military spouse, she has managed four combat deployments and nine relocations over 16 years. |
