Like many politicians around the country, Gov. Phil Murphy put out a public statement condemning political violence following the assassination attempt of then presidential candidate Donald Trump on July 13.
Privately, the governor and first lady Tammy Murphy sent well wishes to Trump through their relationship with his daughter, Ivanka, and son-in-law, Jared Kushner.
It wasn’t enough, Murphy said.
“I can’t give you the exact reason, but at one point, Tammy and I said to each other, ‘The right thing to do, is to go see the guy and give him a hug,’” Murphy told ROI-NJ in an exclusive interview.
That’s why, a week later — and a day after now President-elect Trump returned to New Jersey after accepting his party’s nomination — Phil and Tammy Murphy traveled to Bedminster to see him in person on July 20.
Murphy said he and the first lady spent about 40 minutes with Trump and his campaign advisors, the expected-to-be chief of staff Susie Wiles and Chris LaCivita.
“We didn’t talk much about politics,” Murphy said. “It was mostly, ‘How are you feeling?’
“He described in great detail what he had gone through.”
The visit provides insight into one of perhaps the most surprising political relationships in the country: Trump and Murphy are good friends.
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Many politicians will make the trip to Bedminster in the coming weeks and months, looking to curry favor with Trump in an effort to earn some type of appointment or position in his administration.
It will be a lesson in political opportunism that comes about in every election cycle.
That’s not the way to describe Murphy’s relationship with Trump. And that has been very clear throughout the governor’s economic mission to the United Kingdom that he currently is on.
Publicly and privately, Murphy has told business and political leaders across the pond his hopes and fears regarding Trump’s second term as president.
His hope is that Trump’s strong words on issues such as immigration/deportation and women’s health rights are just campaign “bluster,” he has repeatedly said.
His fear is that they are not. And since the Republicans have control of the Senate now, too, Murphy has said he’s worried that they will be able to confirm choices that he feels are less than ideal for key posts, starting with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. having any role in health care policy.
Murphy said these seemingly conflicting views on Trump should not be viewed as anything but an example of the depth of their relationship.
“The following two things can be true at the same time: There are going to be areas where we’re going to fight like hell and we’ll defend people to the nth degree, till death do us part, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find common ground,” he said. “That’s been the spirit from moment one. That’ll be the spirit on Jan. 20.”
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When Murphy became governor in January of 2017, Trump already had been in office for a year. And even though Trump has many properties in New Jersey, Murphy’s relationship with the president was no different than his relationship with many other Democratic governors across the country.
“We would see each other, maybe once or twice a year,” Murphy said, noting an encounter at a National Governors Association that was no different than most of the other officials there. “It was a very cordial relationship.”
Some of the time.
Murphy said most of interactions with the president and his administration between 2017-20 were not one-on-one but rather reactions to policies and proposals in which the two did not see eye-to-eye.
“They were mostly in defending the interests of immigrants, in the environment, the Muslim community, whatever it was,” he said. “There wasn’t a big universe of common interest. In fact, I don’t recall anything where we were aligned, standing side by side.”
Then came the pandemic.
“The relationship changed dramatically,” Murphy said.
Many have portrayed Murphy as one of the toughest elected officials when it came to fighting COVID. Just as many have portrayed Trump in the opposite light, saying his seemingly disinterest in the pandemic was one of the big missteps in the country’s response.
Murphy doesn’t see it that way.
Murphy credits Trump with saving lives in New Jersey. Murphy gives Trump enormous credit for helping the state.
“My party doesn’t like it when I say it, but the fact of the matter is that a lot more people in New Jersey would have died in March, April, May, June of that year, had it not for been for him and his team,” he said.
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Murphy said there were a lot of “stars” in the battle to find solutions for the COVID crisis. He quickly gave credit to the first lady, his chief of staff George Helmy, and Kushner.
“George deserves a lot of credit,” he said. “Tammy was incredibly helpful. Jared played an enormously important role.”
It was a relationship built out of necessity.
“We were desperate,” Murphy said. “I was going to do whatever I had to do to save as many lives as possible. I went into that relationship not knowing what to expect.”
Members of the president’s team and Murphy’s team were speaking daily.
Murphy joked that he and his team were on speed dial of Trump, well known for his desire to communicate by phone rather than text, email or even a third party.
“They had my cell, Tammy’s cell, our landline at home, and George Helmy’s cell,” he said. “In many cases, they all got launched until somebody picked one of them up.”
The relationship between Murphy and Trump slowly grew beyond politics.
“In some cases, we were commiserating about people who had died, who we both knew,” he said.
Murphy feels the growth of that personal relationship helped the state in more than just its COVID response.
“He invited us down to the Oval Office in April of that year,” he said. “We had a three-hour dinner with him in June. Our relationship had migrated from almost exclusively COVID to other topics.”
Including this.
“He green lit the Portal North Bridge over a dinner we had on June 12, 2020,” Murphy said, specifically recalling the date.
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Like many Democratic politicians, Murphy can recall his feelings on Jan. 6, 2021, when Trump’s supporters stormed the Capitol. Murphy was publicly critical of Trump for his refusal to concede the 2020 presidential election. The relationship soured.
If the aftermath of the assassination attempt helped rekindle it, another key moment solidified it.
On 9/11, before a ceremony in New York City, Murphy and the first lady ran into Trump and J.D. Vance, who is now the vice-president elect.
“We had got there early and (Trump and Vance) already were there,” Murphy said. “We spoke again, it was very cordial, and then he handed me the phone and said, ‘Say hello to Mike Johnson,’ the Speaker of the House.”
Murphy said he and Trump spoke again when they were leaving the ceremony.
Their next meeting could be on Jan. 20, 2025.
Murphy said he has not spoken to Trump directly since the election, though he sent a message through Kushner. He said he has no immediate plans to speak with Trump, knowing how busy he will be as he prepares for his second inauguration.
He also said he and the first lady might attend the inauguration.
Murphy has not committed to going. And if he does, it may be as much about his relationship with Trump as his support for the Democratic process.
“I was very struck that some very conservative governors were at Joe Biden’s inauguration,” he said.
Murphy rattled off the governors of Arkansas (Asa Hutchinson), North Dakota (Doug Burgum) and South Dakota (Kristi Noem).
“I won’t forget that,” he said.
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Murphy has said his relationship with Trump could help the state during his final year in office.
Whether it’s getting the limit of the SALT deduction overturned or ensuring federal money still comes for projects he is pushing, such as offshore wind power, Murphy said he will use his connection to Trump to pitch the state’s case.
Explaining the actual relationship isn’t as easy.
The connection to the state of New Jersey appears to be more happenstance than a starting point.
Murphy speculates it could be other commonalities.
“I don’t want to put words in his mouth, but I believe at some point he must have known that he and I both went to Wharton and that I was a Wall Street guy, which I think has contributed to the relationship,” he said.
Read all the coverage from the United Kingdom here.
Another possibility is this: Trump always has admired strong leaders. Murphy’s unwillingness to capitulate to Trump – as many other politicians have – could be a big factor, too.
“I’ve never thought of it that way,” he said. “I just know that I did not back down, and I won’t back down.”
Murphy also knows that he won’t spend time wondering how this unique relationship came about.
“I don’t know,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve never asked him, ‘Why do you like me?’”
